Tired of Being Scared

In the last six months I have come to realize how blogging about my feelings helps me so much. It seems like I obsess about something for so long until I finally vent about it (usually like a mad woman) and then I can move on. I have to admit something here. I think that I have a case of OCD. In the past few years it has just gotten worse and when I am pregnant it reaches max capacity. Even ask my poor husband. The whole time I was pregnant with Tate I was convinced that he was not washing his hands after he used the restroom. The truth is that he always did and always has washed his hands, but I could not stop obsessing about it. He was so good and patient considering I asked him every time he headed back from the pot. Sometimes I even secretly followed him and listened outside the door to be sure. Crazy huh?

Well, the fear just continues these days. It seems like I am always feeling so worried. I know that ignorance is not bliss, but sometimes I wish it was. Four years ago I changed all of our skin care products because of all of the terrible things in our cosmetics, lotions, soaps, etc. Two years ago I started buying only organic milk and eggs and as much organic fruit as was realistic. I stopped wearing deodorant a year ago because of all the heavy metals in them. I only use stainless steel cooking pans.... no teflon here and I never heat anything in the microwave that is not BPA free. I also stopped buying water bottles because of the toxins in the plastic. Only organic mac-n-cheese for my kids because I do not want them to have the artificial food coloring. Fruit snacks are a dirty word in our house and don't even get me started on Otter Pops or Kool-aid. I stopped getting fluoride treatments at the dentist for my kids and they receive their vaccinations very slowly at my discretion. I try to talk on my cell phone very little and when I do I always try to use the speaker. I do not want to get a brain tumor after all.

It is all so exhausting. My new fears are all about the radiation we are going to be exposed to in our food. Just this last week I bought powdered milk because of the enormous levels of radiation they have discovered in our milk and I am secretly putting kelp drops in my kids drinks so they will not be deficient of iodine. Don't worry they are tasteless and colorless. I am already starting to worry about using sunscreen on my kids because of the terrible chemicals in them and have found some really good natural products to protect our skin this Summer.

The truth is, I am tired of all of it! I need a break from the OCD. I want to feed my children giant bowls of high fructose corn syrup and Cheetos like other moms and not worry about it one bit. Unfortunately I know better. Anyway, I need a break from it all. Maybe I should just go check on my husband in the bathroom. It never hurts to be sure!

*By the way, I in no way want to claim that my children do not eat Otter pops, Kool-aid or Cheetos. We just limit it to very little. I am not trying to be self-righteous about my efforts.... just lamenting them!